Reddit | zpants

16+ People Who Just Realized That They’re Dating A Dummy

sydney.brooman 15 Jul 2019

Relationship dynamics between two people are never going to be completely equal. One person is likely more emotional, or less tech savvy, or more physically affectionate than the other. Which means that while one of you may book smart, one of you is probably more street smart than the other.

I experienced a lot of this while dating He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (starts with a B, ends with a RAD). Oddly ridiculous displays of pure, unadulterated idiocy were a daily occurrence with you-know-who and sometimes, the magic of smart phone cameras were able to capture the moments in which I thoroughly regretted all of my life decisions that led me to him.

These peeps are able to pinpoint the moment where the clouds cleared and they were able to see their significant other for who they are, or, well, who they aren't.

1. Perspective

Reddit | bondo84

This one's a little understandable. Sometimes things seem smaller when you're farther away.

And sometimes, things are smaller than you expected no matter how far you're standing. Funny, hmm?

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2. Safety First

Amazon

This reminds me of the time that SOMEONE thought that the black silk rope I bought was for 'tying down mattresses on top of the car.'

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3. Size Matters

Reddit | truthorbust

When this woman (5'2) asked her husband (6'4) to put up a mirror for her, he kinda put up the mirror for himself instead.

But we know all about that kind of selfishness, right?

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4. Down The Rabbit Hole

Reddit | MobyMadness

What's the best way to spice up engagement photos? Apparently, it involves dropping your engagement ring down a gopher hole.

But I wouldn't know what to look for. Never seen any jewelry like that before.

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5. Dog Eat Dog World

Reddit | tigerhunting

A husband caught his wife eating 'Christmas cookies' that, unknown to her, were actually dog treats.

I wonder if he told her the truth. I sure wouldn't.

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6. OMG

Reddit | Reiem69

This woman told her husband that there was "so much Sodium in this drink that they had to write OMG instead of a number."

Obviously in this case, OMG stands for "Only Men Get to decide how much sodium is in this"

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7. Hindsight

Reddit | power-cube

Ever get yourself trapped in a situation that is entirely your own fault?

Really Karen? Never?

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8. Home Body

Reddit | unclemerle1775

This woman told her husband she was going to make Thanksgiving dinner, and managed to burn the cook book itself in the process.

SOME people are like King Midus, expect instead of turning everything they touch to gold, they turn everything they touch to a literal dumpster fire.

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9. Fly Away

Reddit | ghbloww

This man really regrets taking his girlfriend fly fishing now, I'll bet.

I had SOMEONE take me camping once. He didn't catch a single fish, likely because fish are intuitive enough to know evil when they see it. They can smell it in the forest air.

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10. Oh My Oh

Reddit | ClaimTheIntersection

This man asked his wife why she had bought plates that said "oh my oh," and she kindly told him to flip the plate around so that it said "Ho Ho Ho."

Someone I know is also quite good at turning 'Ho' into 'Oh'.

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11. Smart Car

Reddit | bossbade

This woman called her boyfriend to alert him that the 'helicopter light' had gone off in their car.

I guess this is better than telling my ex to "turn on his indicator" and him going "my what?"

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12. The Son

Reddit | amundsenkalmah

One man got a text from his girlfriend that read "why do we have an action figure of Jesus?" accompanied by a photo of his Star Wars Qui-Gon Jinn toy.

Ah yes, we learned this in Sunday School. The Father, The Son, and The Power of the Force.

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13. Opposite Day

Reddit | jeffy983

One husband asked his wife to pick up bleach while she was out, and she managed to come back with a product that was 0% bleach.

Some people are so dumb that it must take, like, hard work.

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14. Cat's Out Of The Bag

Reddit | ilaich21

This woman told her husband to let their dog back in his crate after he was outside, and she came back to something, er, different.

It's important to remember that sometimes people use up their intelligence for the day, so by the time the sun has gone down, they have none left.

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15. In A Pinch

Reddit | OnlyEightAreMilhouse

"My boyfriend sent me this with a text that said 'I swallowed tweezers'" this woman writes.

Honestly, not the dumbest thing I've seen today.

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16. Connecting The Dots

Reddit | caz0

This girlfriend had a rather alarming reaction to thinking that she had lost the game Connect 4, though I think someone should probably remind her how it's played.

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17. Brush Up

Reddit | vault34

One man was asked by his wife why their car 'smelt like burning', until he pointed out that she had driven twenty miles with a push broom attached to the bottom.

Part idiocy, part innovation?

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18. I'm Makin' Waffles

Reddit | Derrydeez

When this guy sent him a picture of his new truck, she asked him why it had a little Waffle House in the back.

Again, perspective matters kids.

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19. Have You Tried Turning It On And Off Again?

Reddit | dsubpo

When this man asked his girlfriend to send him a photo of how cracked her iPhone screen was, she sent him this screenshot from the phone itself.

Needless to say, not the most helpful.

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20. Twinning

Reddit | Dadalot

When you buy your daughters matching shirts that say 'be unique' your kind of missing the, uh, point?

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21. Perfect Timing

Reddit | bubysnack

"My girlfriend sets a timer on her phone when she goes to sleep instead of an alarm," this boyfriend writes, "Pure psychopath behavior."

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22. Skin To Skin

Reddit | bungled

Ohhh, that's where the converter went.

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23. Scratch And Win

Reddit | quickbrowngoat

"My wife complained that there was no code on this scratch ticket," this husband says, "Roast her please."

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24. Mozart

Reddit | ImtheMe

One woman handed this to her husband and said proudly "I found your guitar sheet music!"

Maybe he married for money?

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25. How It Panned Out

Reddit | madlyalive

When you order things online, it is really important to read the fine print. This husband learned that the hard way.

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26. Squeaky Clean

Reddit | gnarbro365

"What happens when your wife puts the dog bed in the washing machine," this man wrote, "Dog's got no bed now. Figures."

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27. Picture Perfect

Reddit | imconservative

This wife takes photos of what she's doing at work everyday for her husband, but apparently no one explained to her what screenshot means.

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28. Cut Right To The Truth

Reddit | ThavinceGene

"This is how my wife decided to open her new chord," this man shares, "Not SUPER effective I must say."

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29. Fre-She-Va-Ca-Do

Reddit | mrrobespurople

Anyone whose husband cuts an avocado like this needs marriage counselling.

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30. Sound It Out

Reddit | sockermamma

"My girlfriend texted me this photo and asked if it was an HDMI chord," this man writes, "In case you ALSO didn't notice, it says HDMI right on it."

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31. Say Cheese!

Facebook | Diana Crewy Watson

Apparently this husband packed his wife a sandwich like this "to keep the cheese fresh."

You know what? Maybe being single is the way to go.

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32. Leftovers

Reddit | Asher64

"This is what my husband did when I asked him to put away the leftovers," this wife shares, "What the actual frick is he thinking?"

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33. Master Chef

Reddit | feelingbuff

"This is what happens when my husband tries to make cookies," this wife writes, "He cooks them on a cooling rack."

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34. Granny Panties

Reddit | doedoecapone

I don't know what I'd do if my husband brought me back leakage pads instead of period pads. Buy the proper ones? Divorce him? Depends on my mood really.

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35. To Do

Reddit | diamondz

Don't give me that look—packaging is hard!

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36. Wash And Set

Reddit | reporrr458

"This is what happens when I leave the house," this woman shares, "My boyfriend tries to do the dishes."

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37. LOGin

Reddit | Jargon337

"When your girlfriend goes off to get firewood and comes back with this," one man writes, "At least she's ambitious?"

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38. Pound The Alarm

Reddit | Foreknown

"My girlfriend said she was going to set a reminder on her phone" this man writes, "Turns out, she meant an actual written reminder."

Some of us could get by with a little help from our friends.

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39. Brain Freeze

Reddit | zpants

One husband found this box in his freezer, and now has to explain to his wife that this isn't quite what freezer bags are for.

At least they'll be, um, chill?

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40. Wild Thing

Reddit | jreenfin

This woman's husband asked her if the thing they were looking at was a Texas Longhorn. Needless to say, he didn't see anything like that again for a long, long time.

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