Jealousy — what is it? An emotion? A mental state? An evil thing that possesses you and ruins everything it touches?!
Head spinning, friendship ruining, projectile vomiting, dead priests — the last two might be questionable — my god, when it gets out of control, it really gets out of control!
Anyway, it's always an excellent day for an exorcism, and these people definitely need one!
1. Got naughty with the noodles last night.
Plot twist: dude starts buying chicken-flavored domes and suddenly he's eating a month's worth of noodles every week. Now who's crazy?
Seriously, though, he should run screaming into the night and just start his whole life over in a city far away.
2. There's a relationship worth leaving.
Usually it's the low-cut shirts that lead the guys around, amirite?
Let's send out some well-wishes that he gets over this terrible attack on family values and lets the lady wear what she wants to wear. You know, like a real human being who can make her own choices.
3. Cool it, lady.
I bet that before replying, she got out a family tree to figure out just how related they are. There are cousins and then there are cousins, right?
But then, I guess she could have been burned by the fiery heat between two sexy cousins before?
4. Congrats, you're horrible.
Is this a thing now? Scowling in your girl's pics like your underwear is chafing and your brother stole your popsicle?
Just because they're wearing matching shirts doesn't mean he's stealing your girl! Dude is going to scowl his way back to being single, amirite?
5. Stacy's mom has got it goin' on.
To be fair, the Bro Code is clear on moms: the mom of a Bro is always off-limits. You've gotta shut that down before you end up with a "Stifler's mom" situation. But losing your cool is so not Bro — or should I say sooooo not Bro?